To get the best help for your situation, first answer the questions on the guide's start page.
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Divorce or separation- Guide's start page
- Steps of separation or divorce
- Considering the decision to divorce or separate
- When there is a risk of violence in the divorce or separation
- Filing for divorce
- Practical matters to be handled in the divorce or separation
- Agreement on arrangements relating to the divorce or separation
- Dealing with the emotions arising from the divorce or separation
- After the divorce or separation
- Checklist
After the divorce or separation
What do I do if my ex-spouse behaves threateningly or persecutes me?
If you experience an acute threat of violence or are a victim of violence:
- Call the emergency number 112.
- Seek refuge with a loved one or go to a shelter. You can find the contact details of your nearest shelter from Nettiturvakoti (Online shelter, in Finnish)Opens in a new window..
Updated: 26/6/2025
Information on all services is not available in your chosen language. Change the language of the site to receive information on services in other languages.
Take care of yourself
You may feel various, sometimes even conflicting, emotions after you have gone through a divorce or a separation. Remember:
- Routines help keep everyday life in balance.
- Do things that you enjoy.
- You can see the end of your relationship also as a start of something new.
- If you feel that the divorce or separation is more than you can handle, you should seek help or support.
Updated: 6/2/2025
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Take care of children’s well-being
A child can have various symptoms after their parents’ relationship has ended. Please note that child’s need for help may not occur until years after the divorce or separation.
You can get help
- from a family counselling centre
- as a parent of a child under school age from a child health clinic
- in the case of schoolchildren, the school psychologist or school social worker
- peer support groups for children in wellbeing services counties, parishes and organisations.
Updated: 27/2/2024
Information on all services is not available in your chosen language. Change the language of the site to receive information on services in other languages.
My ex partner tries to ruin the relationship between me and my child
If the other parent tries to ruin your relationship with your child, it may be a case of parental alienation. Parental alienation is a strategy where one parent causes different kinds of harm to the relationship between a child and the other parent, who had a balanced and safe relationship with the child before the divorce.
Examples of parental alienation include the other parent:
- badmouthing the other parent to the child
- giving the child unjustified fears
- manipulating the child’s thoughts
- restricting meetings and contact between the child and the other parent.
A parent’s efforts to protect their child from violence or persecution, or the child experiencing abuse form the other parent, is not parental alienation.
If you identify signs of parental alienation in yourself or the other parent, seek help. Parental alienation is always harmful to the child.
Read more about parental alienation
- Parental alienation - Apuaeroon.fi (in Finnish)Opens in a new window.
- Parental alienation - Isät lasten asialla ry (in Finnish)Opens in a new window.
Peer support and people to talk to
- Member associations of the Federation of Mother and Child Homes and SheltersOpens in a new window. around the country offer free counselling for parents and children in situations involving parental alienation.
- Isät lasten asialla ryOpens in a new window. offers peer support for anyone who has encountered parental alienation.
- Social welfare and health care professionals and organisations operating under wellbeing services counties also offer support for divorced parents and their children.
Updated: 4/3/2025
Change in the situation of children
Previously concluded agreements related to the child's affairs may be amended if the situation of the parents or the child has changed in relation thereto.
- If you need to change the agreements related to maintenance, custody, housing and visiting rights, please make an appointment with the child welfare officer.
- If you are finding it difficult to come to a new agreement on your children’s affairs, you can apply to family mediation in your wellbeing services county.
- If you are unable to reach agreement, you should seek mediation in the District Court. If you cannot settle the issue in mediation, it will be settled in legal proceedings.
Updated: 27/12/2022
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Changing surname
If you want to change your last name back to a name that you previously had, you can do so in the name change service of the Digital and Population Data Services Agency.
Updated: 2/1/2026
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